RED DWARF: Episode Guide & More by Nems Cast: Arnold J. Rimmer..........Chris Barrie David Lister..............Craig Charles Cat.......................Danny John-Jules Holly (seasons 1 & 2).....Norman Lovett Holly (seasons 3 & 4).....Hattie Hayridge Christine Kochanski.......C. P. Grogan Kryten....................Robert Llewellyn Written by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor Directed by Ed Bye Music by Howard Goodall >>> SEASON ONE: BBC2 Tuesday at 9:00pm, Sept 5 - Oct 11 1988 <<< THE END The ship's captain finds out that Lister has a pet cat, and asks for the pet be handed over. Lister refuses and is placed in suspended animation. When Lister is revived, he finds that three million years have passed and his only companions are a hologram of his roommate Rimmer, and a life form that has evolved from his cat. FUTURE ECHOES As the ship breaks light speed, the crew come into contact with pieces of their future. Including a photo of Lister with two baby boys. BALANCE OF POWER Lister begins studying for the chief's exam, in an attempt to become an officer that would out-rank Rimmer WAITING FOR GOD Lister discovers that he and his original cat, Frankenstein, are the basis for Cat's religion. CONFIDENCE & PARANOIA After Lister is exposed to radiation, his confidence and paranoia materialize as humanoid forms. MEý After a second hologram is made of Rimmer, both Rimmers move out to their own quarters. However, Rimmer soon finds out that he gets along better with Lister, than with himself. >>> SEASON TWO: BBC2 Tuesday at 8:30pm, Aug 28 - Oct 3 1989 <<< KRYTEN The Red Dwarf responds to a distress call from three shipwrecked women. Upon investigation, it turns out that the only survivor is their mechaniod servant named Kryten. BETTER THAN LIFE A postal pod filled with mail is intercepted. In the mail is news of Rimmer's fathers death, and a total emersion video game. THANKS FOR THE MEMORY Lister and Cat, each awake with a cast upon their leg, and no one has any memory of the last four days. STASIS LEAK A stasis leak allows Lister and Rimmer to go back in time where Rimmer tries to prevent his death, and Lister tries to marry Kochanski. QUEEG When Holly malfunctions, Queeg takes over as the ship's new disciplined computer. PARALLEL UNIVERSE Using the Holly Hop allows the crew to come into contact with parallel universe versions of themselves. Lister goes to bed with his female counterpart, and then discovers that he is pregnant. >>> SEASON THREE: BBC2 Tuesday at 9:00pm, Nov 14 - Dec 19 1989 <<< Red Dwarf III THE SAGA CONTINUUMS The story so far... Three million years in the future, David Lister, the last human alive, discovers he is pregnant after a liaison with his female self in a parallel universe. His pregnancy concludes with the successful birth of twin boys, Jim and Baxley. However, because the two were conceived in another universe, with different physical laws, they suffer from highly accelerated growth rates, and are both eighteen years old within 3 days of being born. In order to save their lives, Lister returns them to the universe of their origin, where they are reunited with their father (a woman), and are able to lead comparatively normal lives. Well, as normal as you can be if you've been born in a parallel universe and your father's a woman and your mother's a man and you're eighteen years old three days after your birth. Shortly afterwards, Kryten, the service mechanoid who left the ship after being rescued from his own crashed vessel, The Nova 5, is found in pieces after his space bike crash lands into an astroid. Lister rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable to recapture his former personality. Meanwhile, Holly, the increasingly erratic Red Dwarf computer performs a head sex change operation on himself. He bases his new face on Hilly, a female computer with whom he'd once fallen madly in love. And now the saga continuums... Red Dwarf III The Same Generation = nearly = BACKWARDS Kryten and Rimmer pass through a time hole, and are shocked to find that time is running backwards on earth. MAROONED Forced to abandon the Red Dwarf as it hurtles toward a maze of black holes, Lister and Rimmer are stranded on a cold, lifeless moon. POLYMORPH A slavering mutant with the ability to change shape, runs amok on the Red Dwarf. BODYSWAP Rimmer has an idea for Lister to improve his physical fitness; switch bodies with him. TIMESLIDES Kryten finds a film developer that makes photos people can walk into, and change their past. THE LAST DAY Kryten discovers that his expiration date is less than a day away, and the crew are determined to give him an unforgettable send off. >>> SEASON FOUR: BBC2 Thursday 9:00pm, Feb 14 - March 21 1991 <<< CAMILE Kryten falls for the female "chameleon" that he rescues. But when her husband shows up, Kryten must let her go in true 'Casablanca' style. D.N.A. New life forms can be created when the crew finds a genetic-engineering device than transmutes living things by copying their DNA. JUSTICE The crew visits a colony where guilty parties are automatically punished, and Rimmer has something to fear. WHITE HOLE Holly uses her genius level IQ to shut off the ship's power, while the ship passes near a 'white hole' in space. DIMENSION JUMP The crew meets Rimmer's double, a pilot named Ace whose magnetic personality makes Rimmer feel like a joker. MELTDOWN The crew visits Waxworld, where famous and infamous figures are engaged in a battle of the waxes. >>> LYRICS <<< RED DWARF THEME SONG It's cold outside, There's no kind of atmosphere I'm all alone, more or less Let me fly, far away from here Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun I want to lie, shipwrecked and comatose, Drinking fresh mango juice Goldfish shoals nibbling at my toes Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun... TONGUE-TIED (from 'Parallel Universe') When I saw you for the first time (first time) My knees began to quiver (quiver) And I got a funny feeling (feeling) In my kidneys and my liver (digestive system baby) My hands they started shakin' (shakin') My heart began a-thumpin' (boom boom boom) My breakfast left my body (huey huey huey) All this tells me something Girl you make me tongue-tied (tongue-tied), tongue-tied Whenever you are near me (near me) Tied tongue (tied tongue), tied tongue (tied tongue) Whenever you're in town (boom boom boom) I saw you cross the dance floor (dancing) I thought of birds and bees (reproductive system baby) But when I tried to speak to you (talk tall) My tongue unraveled to my knees (flippity-flippity-flop) I tried to say, "I love you" (love you) But it came out kind of wrong girl (wrong girl) It sounded like mi-noo-muh-dee-do (tongue-tied) Mil-uh-nuh-muh-nee-nung nirl Because you make me tongue-tied (tongue-tied), tongue-tied Whenever you are near me (near me) Be-dog-be-durble (dog-be-durble) Tongue-tied (tongue-tied) Whenever you're around (ba-boom boom boom) Oh, I'm begging on my knees Sweet, sweet darling listen please Understand me when I say... Ge-durble-diggle-doggle-miggle-fah-len-all-the-way I'm trying to say I'm nongy-nengy (nangy-nong) ningy-nongy Why can't I tell you clearly (clearly) Be-dobby-durgle (dobby-durgle), durlge-dobby (durgle-dobby) Whenever you're around (around) Whenever you're around >>> BOOKS <<< Red Dwarf, Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers ISBN 0-14-012437-3 Better Than Life ISBN 0-14-012438-1 *both books by "Grant Naylor"; published by Penguin* -------------------------------------------------------------------------